April Fool

I told people at work I was going to go home and tell everyone that I was pregnant. I think it would be funnier for a pregnant lady to go home and say she wasn't. If I were knocked up I would say I'm just getting REALLY fat.

Some people probably wouldn't find that very funny, but my humor has always been kind of off.

So I was sitting at my desk and today is Thursday and usually we're so busy because all the techs call in and want to get thier stuff next day air so they can have it before the weekend because they forget to order it earlier in the week like they're supposed to... (I know that was totally boring).

So I was sitting there and it occured to me that Monday was so long ago. I blurt out, "It seems like Monday was a few days ago."

A co-worker laughs and is like "I love you Ry Ry."

The new guy laughs, too. He isn't used to my humor yet I suppose.

Lesson: At least for me just becuase it seems like it's been a few days doesn't mean it always has been.

Purple Fuzzy Balls

I wish I had some. I tried to grow them once, but it's just physically impossible. Speaking of possibilities. I'm the girl who has it all, but still doesn't have it all.

Does everyone in their lives have one third of it that just isn't quite up to par? Is there always something that has to be awry? Or is there something wrong with me?

Lesson: Don't over think it. Though that is a stupid thought because I always do.

No details, what kind of blogger am I?

I was reading that last blog I wrote and while it's very wordy (I tend to get that way) I didn't have any detail for anyone to know what in the h-e-double hockey stocks I'm talking about. Unless you know me and I've talked to you about it.

Anyway, it's just a decision I'm going back and forth in my head. Driving me insane. It's no wonder humans are the only sentient species. If there were more than one species that had to make intelligent decision making skills I don't think it would work out. I drive myself insane thinking.

Speaking of insane today I was a nutcase at work. I was talking to my supervisor and having an informed conversation about one of his accounts when he stops and says. "Hang on there is someone hovering over me giving me weird looks."

Turns out he was on the phone. Oops. I would have been one the wiser because his answering the person on the other end was fitting my conversation perfectly.

I told him to never mind and just ignore me. At least I gave a couple people a good laugh.

Lesson: Don't ask important questions to someone that talks on the phone all day unless you know they are not on the phone. They may not be talking to you.

C'mon Gimmie some ADVICE

I really wish my grandpa were around for me to talk to. I have a HUGE decision to make as far as a career goes and I don't know what path to choose...

Do I stay where I am, doing what I know how to do, with the steady check? Or do I take a risk and discover something different and try something new? Something that may not give me a steady check, but could possibly have a rewarding future if I work really hard?

Don't get me wrong. I like what I do. I like helping people and I love when my customers tell me they don't know how they ever got by before they had me for a rep (I had someone tell me that today). I have built a pretty good customer relationship with some of them. I have a pretty funny time there sometimes.

But I do have my issues and those that know me well know what I'm talking about. I've had problems from time to time with a certain person that for whatever reason we just can't get past our differences. Granted I know that no matter where you go or what you do there are always going to be people you can't get along with. I know that. But I also know that in this company I have no place to move up and no place to go except where I am.

I have a lot of ideas I think can help my current job, but no one to listen to me...

Once, of the big boss people told me my college degree meant nothing there. I worked hard for that degree. It means a lot to me! I was in a factory for years and I wanted out. I wanted better, not just for me, but for my family. I want a job that isn't a job or a pay check. I want something I love that I'm passionate about.

I know I can't stay where I am forever. I know it's not for me, but I have been looking for months for something else. And frankly- in this economly there isn't much!

When I think about what I really want to do- besides helping people I really don't know what I want. I really don't know what my skills are. I guess that kind of scares me.

I want to take a risk, but then again I don't. I don't want to be on the platform when the train leaves wondering where it's going- again because I'm scared to get on it. I want to BE on it.

Then again- this offer isn't something that is a sit down office job that will give me steady hours and a steady check. I won't know from week to week how I'm doing or how much I can bring home... I've never wanted a comission based job, but with comission there are a lot of opportunities. It is what you make it, right? Or is commission something you just work harder for and just never have enough?

Do I take the slow steady worn path that I know will be safe? Or should I try the other one? If it doesn't work out, then what? Have I taken my risk, failed, and screwed myself (and my family) over? Can I live with that?

What is plan B? I wish I could show my grandpa my list of pros and cons and the criteria of each career path and get his opinion. He is so wise and he would give me good advice.

Kirby is a good husband. He tells me to do what I want. But I can't because what if what I want ends up hurting him? I would want him to take a risk if the tables were turned, but I know he's smart enough he would make sure things with me were okay...

I just don't know. Even writing this I'm pretty much all over the place. I have to make my decision by noon tomorrow. I've been thinking about it forever and I just can't decide. I need some good advice, some good opinions.

innards explode!

Have you ever been in the middle of eating when your guts decide they all want to squeeze into the same spot in your body? Yeah it's painful.

What sucks is I was in the middle of my delicious supper and couldn't finish it because my stomach was protesting so profusely. Oh, my stomach was squeezed so tightly with pain I could hardly move. I don't know what was wrong with me or what started it off! I think it's another wonderful random side effect of my medicine.

I've noticed that I need new pants. Most of mine don't fit. I think I dropped a size and I think a couple years ago I got rid of ALL the pants I had that were size 7 and smaller because I thought, "I'm never going to wear them again, no sense in keeping them around." And here I am, putting safety pins in my work pants when I get ready in the mornings so I can do my hair and make up with out them falling down.

Anyway my stomach hurts- a lot. I cramp every morning almost... I feel sick a lot at work. Oh and for those of you about to lecture me YES I eat just fine. In fact I had a snack right before this blog. Sugar wafers... but I don't know if it's me or my medication (it affects my taste, too) but I think they taste kind of oily.

Sorry I felt like laughing and making a funny blog... but I guess with my stomach upset all I'm thinking about is guts and innards and intestines.

Mark has the kids this week for Spring break and it's so quiet here! I kept thinking I should go check on them in their beds, but their beds are empty. I miss them! I wonder if they miss me??