I'm not going to punish you

But we are going to have a little talk.

I understand you're shy, I was also very shy (be quiet- you from the peanut gallery I'm talking about when I was little). I know you don't talk a lot. Not like me- or girls- we're always blah blah blah. And I know you like your privacy.

I respect all that. I don't force you to talk to me, but you know we've had some talks before. You know there are a lot of people around you that love you very much. It is not good to hold your feelings inside. I did for years and never knew who I could talk to or how to talk to anyone. But once I was able to open up, it's a good thing to share your problems. So you are not alone.

It's also not good to freak out or get upset when you need help. We've talked about that too, and you're getting better.

You don't need to clam up when I ask you a simple question. When someone asks you something it does not mean you're not in trouble. It is very irritating when you refuse to answer me and then get upset. That tells me there is something I do need to know.

While I do respect your privacy; you do need to talk to me. I need to know what is going on inside that head. I care about you and that is the way things are.

I'm not going to scream at you if you tell me something. Have I ever done that? Of course not.

If you think I'm some scary person to talk to, you need to tell me. Do you know what I'm thinking? (no) I don't know what you're thinking either. We can't read minds.

If you need or want something- you need to communicate with me. It goes both ways. You ask me something you would like an honest answer- same here. If I ask you something just give me an honest answer.

If it's personal- say so and we can talk where no other ears will hear. I won't tell everyone what's going on, but it is my job to poke my nose into your life. I need to know what's going on- and "I don't know" for an answer is not good enough.