Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Sitting in the Chevy Feeling Kind of Heavy

That.... is the picture I was taking of Rowan. He was reaching for my camera. So those of you that know me IRL and wonder why there are never any new photos.... that is why. He also thinks my phone is the best toy.

Anyway it seems that blogging has taken a wayside of my life- as it usually does. Seems it comes in waves and typically only during the tsunami- like ones. The waves of life that want to take over until I'm about to burst.

I would like to blog a few times a week, but I always sit down, open it, and nothing comes out. I guess I need drama in my life for word vomit. Of course those also make the best blogs. That and when I get my ah-ha moments. You know the ones, when life throws something so profound it changes your perspective.

Kind of like the sermon I heard a few weeks ago. What comes out of your mouth is a window to what your heart is. I have been acutely aware of all the negative things that pour out when I speak. The selfishness inside me, too. Very thought provoking. I want my heart as pure and white as snow. So I have to change the way I think.

Like it used to be when people cut me off when I'm driving I'd tell myself that maybe they have diarrhea. I know- ridiculous, but it helped put my grumbling in perspective because maybe they DID have diarrhea and I've had diarrhea while driving and it's NO fun wondering if you're going to burst in your seat or not.

Recently I kind of stopped with that excuse and started my growling in my throat again. There is a lot going on with me as I drive- such as the construction on my road slows me to a halt. Wouldn't be terrible, but I'm pouring sweat because the a/c in my car is broken. Most of the time that is remedied by rolling down the window, but I can't because my window doesn't go down. So the air-flow from the passenger side is the only air I get in this high degree heat advisory weather. The hotter I get the wetter I get, the more my hair frizzes, etc., etc. I start to feel like Dr. Horrible's "evil moisture buddy" Moist. The most badass I can get is making people feel like they need a shower... and usually it's me in the end that needs a good rinse off.

So anyway I guess I need to put things back into perspective to clear the conscious of my heart. I need to go back to thinking the drivers may have diarrhea. Nothing wore that sitting in construction feeling kind of heavy. I'm sure that would be even worse than bringing a dish towel to wipe the sweat as you sit patiently as another jerkface butts in front of you.