You just popped into my head. I think of you and the perfect life you projected. I used to want that. I didn't want to be you, but I wanted to be like you. To be more successful than I felt. To be more confident than I felt. To have it all together like you appeared.
Everyone has a story and it was hard to imagine yours when you were so perfect and I was always such a mess. The problem wasn't that you didn't appear to have problems. The problem is that I wasn't okay with myself.
But I am now. I actually haven't thought of you in a long time. It's weird, though... thinking of you and all those old feelings drudged up. The truth is, I'm okay with my inadequacies. I could never be like you and I don't want to. I'm myself & I like that. I'm successful in my own way, even if it's not in the way I imagined success would look like. It's actually better. I still struggle with confidence, but I'm comfortable being me.
The truth is- I don't have it all together. I get stressed to the max. I struggle with anxiety and sometimes depression. My heart breaks for my kids and my heart cheers for my kids. I love being a mom, but it's like a roller coaster. I'm so deeply in love with my husband I don't even have the words to express it (seriously- I've tried writing about it so many times, but nothing seems to fit right). All in all I'm happy. The only thing missing is a "bestie" or whatever- but I'm trying to open myself up for that. I figured at my age I would have figured this whole life thing out, but I guess there is always room to learn and grow, huh?
I know I'm just rambling, but it's what's on my mind. So yeah. :)
-Also prayers for those still recovering from Hurricane Harvey, those in the path of Irma, and those in Montana and out west dealing with the wild fires and toxic air.