Thursday, May 28, 2009

Arms are for arms

So it was another Wednesday and that was another day of a house full of monkeys- I mean children. Wednesday is our designated game night and they ALL look forward to that!

I don't know what it is about the kids, but they always sit askew in the chairs all twisted weird with their legs up on the arms and stuff. It looks quite uncomfortable, but it must not be too terrible.

Kirby's constantly "the arms on the chairs are for arms, if they were for your legs they would be called legs"

So me, being the smarty pants, sitting on the stool asked him if I should poo on it because I was on a stool and stools should be for your stool, right?

He didn't find it as amusing as I did. Of course I kept snickering to myself about my smart comment all day at work. I'm so clever with my play on words. Not quite so as Piers Anthony (I think he has a pantie fetish, btw).

Lesson: If you're going to use a play on words around children, make sure your stool isn't in use- at least around me.

Monday, May 25, 2009

We need more cowbell!

So Friday Kirby did a little post birthday surprise for me. That was totally awesome and sweet! He got onto my face book and started messaging my friends to tell them to meet us at Beamers and to text him yay or nay. But it was so random and last minute he only got like 2 people (I came in the room and wanted to check my stuff)... LOL He got a hold of our mutual friends via text on his cell phone.

So anyway we got a decent crowd of people there and I made everyone sign a birthday card that I conveniently had in my purse. I had a lot of fun. There was a local band playing (they weren't too bad) and they needed a volunteer for a cowbell. Well... who of all people got drug up there to play the cowbell? Yeah- it was me.

Apparently I was terrible. I told the guys I couldn't keep a beat because I was too inebriated at that point to do so. I think even sober I probably couldn't keep a beat.

There were only a few things going through my head:

Don't have a "serious" look. We need more cowbell!! No no... keep a beat. And then I started singing along with the song (I forget what song it was).

Lesson: well have fun and don't worry about making a fool of yourself when your friends force you to.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

My Daughter's Special Gift

Today my daughter did a very good thing. I don't think she fully understands the gravity of her decision. She donated her hair!

Here's the deal: She's been begging me for like 2 months to get her hair cut short. I honestly didn't want her to do it. I think it is so pretty long and flowing... but I know that sensibly she can deal with it a lot better if there were less of it. She mainly wanted to not have so much to comb or brush. She rarely likes to wear it up or let me style it- so she really needs a simple 'down' do.

I told her we have to pick out a style she liked. That we did. She was very specific about certain things. No choppiness and she didn't want super short boy style and NO shaving! Well... her hair was SO thick that the lady had to put it in 2 pony tails to cut for the donation... And the way they were cut it just didn't lay right. So the very bottom of the back was a little shorter than she liked.

I knew as soon as I saw it that she wouldn't like it. It was not at all like the photo we picked out (which showed the BACK specifically with longer layers to the nape of the neck). So she cried all the way home. When we got home she ran as fast as she could to the house. And cried some more because the back wasn't right.

The neighbor kids were all knocking asking if she could play outside and everything. Of course she looked as adorable as can be!!

Here is a secret parents don't know about: every child knows that a parent (or step parent's or grown up) compliments don't really mean anything because parents have bad taste- my own memory flashes of my mom's bad taste in clothes and tid bits of outdated style kept popping into my head when I was trying to explain to her that her hair WAS cute and she just needed to get used to it.

Chopping 10 inches or more is quite a lot to get used to! She was worried that people were going to stare and I told her that even if she cut 2 inches or 20 inches people would look because it's different- so that is NORMAL. Then I illustrated my examples with my personal experiences... I know tactful boring mom style. For those of you that don't know I donated 15 inches last fall- and I seriously hated my hair cut at first, then I got used to it!

ANYWAY I went out and talked with the neighbor kids and they were all very polite and promised to be nice about it. They are such good kids- most of them.

That is when my wonderful husband had a wonderful idea- He invited Gwyn's friend Monica INSIDE. Of course he explained to Monica what was going on and within 30 seconds the thought of the "bad" hair was all diminished and Monica said she wanted Gwyneth's hair!

All in all things smoothed over pretty well... until tomorrow when they have to get ready for school! I guess we'll see. I offered to fluff her hair and even straighten her bangs like mine.

So about the donation- we talked about it (what it is for and WHY we should do it) and I told her if we cut it really short her hair is long enough that we should do it. When we were there she said she didn't want to, but I insisted we talked about it and the style we picked out was short enough we could donate. I told the stylist if she didn't think Gwyn had enough for the style then it was OKAY not to donate. She agreed we could do it with the style that Gwyn chose. I don't think Gwyneth really fully understands, but we can talk about it more later when the shock wears off. I think when it sinks in she'll appreciate that she did. So the style didn't exactly turn out the way she wanted, but I think once Gwyn gets used to it she'll forget all about how it wasn't perfectly like the photo.

Lesson: Sometimes doing a good thing is hard to do. In my opinion teaching your children young is vital!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Best Birthday Ever

Well I've had a lot of best birthdays, but there aren't many that can top today!

For starters shortly after midnight (because I'm a night owl) I got 2 presents, one I've wanted for like 3 years! My IPOD!! Now now I have to make a better effort to learn the names of bands and who sings what and what the songs are called so I can put the songs I like on my IPOD. I'm so excited!

Kirby is most certainly the bestest card picker outer ever. He passed Romance 101 with An A++.

I took another vacation day and spent most of it chaperoning Gwyneth's 1st grade class field trip to the zoo. That was a blast! FYI: first graders aren't as crazy as 4th graders, but definitely more random. So I had a pretty good time and so did Gwyn and her friends. Today was absolutely *BEAUTIFUL* out. Then I cleaned and that was pretty boring, but after I picked up the kids from school I played a game with Gwyn and got realllly sleepy.

So I fell asleep... then she did. Then I woke to check on her and I fell asleep on her bed. Kirby came home with Josh and Cruz and we went to eat. Flanagan's, my choice. Mmmm. Kids were crazy because I let them get jacked up on soda and ice cream. I really expected them (the restaurant people) to sing to me, but they didn't. I can say I'm a little disappointed. I love those cheesy birthday antics at restaurants. Last time I was totally, um yeah drunk, and I asked the guy at IHOP to sing to me (it's only a littel fuzzy)... That was 2 years ago. he he, I went dancing for that birthday. That was pretty fun, too.

Anyway when we got home we got the kids showered up and ready for bed and played apples to apples and guess what? I won! Last week I beat all the zombies and this week I beat everyone again. I'm the bomb.

Lesson: There's nothing wrong with getting older, besides I can still brag that I'm in my 20's.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

What about a window pane licker?

Mollie's comment made me think about one time that I sent an email to customer service asking everyone if they helped such and such account...

Well that may have worked IF I sent it to the correct "customer service" email... BUT if you've ever worked in customer service and with vendors you'll know that many vendors use a typical "customer service" email themselves.

I sent my particular email to customerservice@craineplumbing... Well don't try to email them because #1 they have disabled their email. #2 when it was working they hardly ever answered it, so it may as well have been disabled.

Lesson: When you remember things that bring a smile to your lips- share it.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Window Licker

That is what one of my co-workers say for people that do less than common sence things. Today I was a window licker.

Granted I had my little vacation so I hadn't been to work since the 7th... but today I had a customer give me some Jackson dishwasher parts. He didn't believe the price on a roller was $1.64 and told me to check it. So I get into the Champion dishwasher price list and I can't find the part number in it. I tell him I have to call him back for updated pricing.

I go back and forth periodically through the day because I *really* don't want to call the factory for a $1.64 roller (that we have in stock, mind you) because my customer wants to argue with me. Finally after multiple checks in our system and the Champion Dish price list I pull up the Champion vendor number to call them. I'm looking at the vendor number, writing our team an e-mail (so if anyone else has any other Champion parts I can help them, too- it reduces calls to the factory)... when I look down and something clicks in my brain.

My customer didn't give me Champion parts. He gave me Jackson parts! Of course I can't find that part in the Champion parts list! Silly me. So I pull his part up in the Jackson price list and there it is $1.64 with the description and everything.

Oh it's good to be me.

Lesson: if I can't laugh at me I know everyone else can!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Candy Wrapper Monster

I got tired of seeing candy wrappers all over the house so I declared to the children that if I see ONE more candy wrapper in the house there will be NO more candy all weekend!! It worked because I haven't seen a single wrapper. I also made them put it in the pantry. Out of site out of mind- because no one's asked me about it.

How did they get these delicious morsels? Somehow they managed to get themselves invited to a neighbor kid's birthday. No one could tell me WHO's birthday it was. Hmm.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Grooming Supplies in the Pantry

So Gwyn was looking for her comb- which was in the pantry. Because we ALL keep our combs in the pantry right? Well she has this unique way of doing two things at once where she does her hair and eats snacks at the same time. So we normally keep her comb in the pantry. It's just easier for her to find it there.

Actually I found it as I was searching for a snack myself. I left it there because I'm a mean mom who teaches her children responsibility. So when she took her shower the next night and asked where her comb is. *side note- WHY does she ALWAYS ask me where things are like I KNOW when she's the one that lost them? Like I can do a vulcan mind probe and "see" it. Anyway when she asked where it was and I told her I asked if she rememberd WHY it would be in the pantry and WHAT she should have done before getting a snack. Then she remembered that she didn't eat anything in the pantry, she had a cheese stick! So she looked in the fridge.

*sigh* I practically give her the answer, and she still gets it wrong. Sometimes I'd like to crawl in her brain and take a look around. I bet it's interesting.

Lesson: I do silly things, so does my daughter. Like mother like daughter.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Weird Ramblings and Family Nerdfest

So I was out today on a business luncheon and who it is right near from us but one of the big boss guys from my job?! Weird. I felt kind of awkward so I gave them the cold shoulder. It's not that I'm not friendly, it's that I just didn't feel running into them was very appropriate. Anyway I wonder if they would have said hello if they recognized me anyway? Oh I guess I should mention I was socializing with another company.

Speaking of other companies another weird thing happened. I told you about this *big* special test thing I did, right? Word must be on the streets- I'm at home cleaning when I have this company call me and they want an interview tomorrow!! Crazy. I politely declined. Actually what really happened was they got my resume off of a web site. They said I submitted it to the company, but I don't remember doing that. Of course I haven't been on any job sites in over 2 months...

You know what else is weird? When I am typing I ALWAYS transpose my "i's" and "e's". I alwasy write "wierd" and "thier" instead of "weird" and "their" for example. It drives me inane. I don't know. I guess my right hand is just slightly faster than my left so I always misspell those "ei" words. I know no one cares, but I'm constantly correcting them so I just thought I'd ramble pointlessly for a moment.

So all weirdness aside- I've decided to implement something back into our family that we kind of stopped doing... GAMING!

Gwyneth pointed out that since she can read now she can play games better because she doesn't need as much help. Good point.

Gosh I love being a nerd. We had some resistance (normally not everyone will play, but my rules was "family gaming" ALL have to play), but within 5 minutes into the nerd fest everyone was into it. Kirby picked the game.

I won. I beat all the zombies! I have never won that game before. I guess no one expected the underdog to win.

Lesson: expect the unexpected and take extra steps to make sure no one will recognise you- incognito. Whatever.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

My accomplishment!!!

I took a week off of my "normal" job (yeah I got some of my vacation) to get some personal things done. So far all I feel like I'm doing is wasting a lot of my time, I'm busy as hell, and getting nothing done that I had anticipated I would... I did get one proud thing accomplished though and I want to share my story.

For a little of a back story, for those that don't know, the past month and a half I have been taking an accelerated online class and I had to test at Ivy Tech for my state liscensing. Let's back up another minute here. I was going to test 2 weeks ago when I realized that I had only been working on 1/2 the material. OOPS. So anyway- If you don't know what I'm talking about you soon will. Anyway- I have been working REALLY hard (like neglecting my family, skipping meals- okay I didn't skip any meals) and for a few reasons, mostly for my own sanity- err self. I really wanted to show myself I could do well.

Anyway that test was freaking HARD. Most everyone doesn't pass on their first time. I didn't know of course, until after and the other people around me failed theirs... Well I had to PAY for the exam and you can't re-schedule within 24 hours. I had been battling a headache all week last week. I took pain pills every day after work to try to get rid of it, but it kept coming back. Friday I had the day off of work (for the field trip) and I took 2 pain pills, but it was no use. By time I went to bed it was full fledged migraine. I only had 2 hours of sleep, my stomach was upset... if you've ever had a migraine you know how it feels. I just can't describe the pain. It was awful.

So I had that test on Saturday. I already paid for it and wether I rescheduled or not I was at the point of no return with my money. I thought (and this was probably the most idiotic thing I've ever done) I was going to go take it.

I'll tell you what I'll just EAT the money next time.

I spent the entire 2 1/2 hours in that room, miserable as hell, I surely couldn't have passed. Even with my glasses I could barely stand to look at the computer and everything was blurry. It was super quiet, but it was still too loud. It was WAY too bright. My stomach was telling me to go to the bathroom (if I left early the test would automatically be over- even for an emergency bathroom break). Because it was for a state liscensing I even had to lock my head on in the locker with my purse. NO personal effects!

Anyway I passed. By 2% from the minimum! Kirby drove me, there was no way I could drive! I put ice on my head passed out for pretty much the rest of the day, and felt like crap the next day... but I passed!!!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

History Museum Nerd

This is reserved for the History Museum post. I reserved the date incorrectly. We actually went on Friday the 8th. So it may seem like I'm from the future, but I'm not. I'm just writing a few days late because I had a migraine. Thanks for your understanding.

If you still think I'm from the future- I should be sure to wear a sweater on the 12th because the building I'm going to be in is FREEZING. In fact, I'm going to watch a DVD, so I should bring my electric blankey and make myself comfortable.

Anyway I went to volunteer for a 4th grade class field trip... A few things went through my head. Like was I ever that crazy? I don't remember it. Also, are 4th graders as nerdy as me (except for Gavin who I know liked it) and enjoyed it. I think they all loved it. And Gavin really reminds me of my cousin Jory, the way he's quiet.

Of course they all liked the jail part in the basement. That was the highlight of every child. And they all liked when the alarm went off (but not as much as the jail). I had a naughty kid in my group. I jokingly shut him in- which ended up starting a trend to shut most of a class in (I have a photo on my cell phone), maybe I'll try to get it on here later if it'll work).

Wow I would love to be a 4th grader again!

Oh back to the alarm thing- either Gavin or I accidentally set the alarm off. Not sure which. OOPS. I turned to scold a student for whistling loud. That's what I thought it was (until the 2nd person set it off for a lot longer).

Oh they have silent bus. That was weird. The kids had to bring their books with them because they aren't allowed to talk on the bus. There actually was some talking, but it wasn't the crazy insane bus rides I remember as a child. Unusual, but effective.

So I didn't even realize Fort Wayne HAD a history museum we will definitely be going back soon!

Lesson: Next time I chaperon a field trip I need to make sure the teacher knows I can't be around girls that wear perfume (I think that is what helped set off the migraine attack officially)- and perhaps earplugs for anything that may involve a basement and children.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Funny about olives

Tuesdays are random and funny. Especially when I wait until Thursday to comment. I just rack my brain for all the random things that have happened and I can't think of any. Well I have some inside jokes, but those would take too long to explain.

I yelled at my cat for licking for 45 minutes straight, I'm surprised he isn't bald! So he got his revenge by getting in the "position" in ready to give me some cat puke. He didn't, it was jut a false alarm.

Seriously- I know I talk about the cat puke a lot. I can't help it. My cat is old and likes to puke. I think he could be bulimic.

Okay what is it with olives? Garry attacks people that eat olives. He loves them. He will bite your hand if he thinks you are hiding one from him. He will bite your hand if he thinks it is an olive.

So we had some olives and we were getting him to do "tricks" like jump (he would never do that), get on Millie, but he would chase our hands. Then he would try to attack our hand and lick it.

Olives make them act like they're high on cat nip. Especially Garry. I ate one in front of him and he gave me a dirty look.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Stop making fun of me, please

So what if I don't talk like you, and enunciate my words exactly as you feel I should. So what if I say "pitcher" instead of "pick-ture". Or slip up and say "Alanta" instead of "AT-lanta" or "binch" instead of "bench" who really cares? Geez. No one has perfect grammar and neither do you- so lay off.

I like the way I talk. My customers down south say I talk like a hill billy northerner. Actually they say Yankee, but that word makes me want to giggle. It sounds so prejudice. And my customers in the north/midwest say I have a slight southern drawl. I constantly catch myself using bad English, "I'll git it right to ya" and "gimmie a few to look it up" as well as other phrases that I've picked up along the way. Partly in a rush to get off the phone and partly just because it slips out.

In my opinion, mostly no one (i.e. our customers), care because I'm (and I believe our group)is courteous and my messages get across to them in a professional (if some what improper grammatical) way. They understand what I'm saying. Shoot bubba, half the time I just pick up what their dialect while I'm talking!!

wow lots of parentheses. I like those.

Is it more professional to have a co-worker correct their sentence in front of the entire group several times or to just let it go? I don't make a point on everything everyone else does that is incorrect, we all should show the same respect to everyone. It may not always be me that is singled out, but I'm just as humiliated when it's another co-worker.

We're a group, a team, and sometimes we don't always act like one. I love our team when we're being a team, but when we're not, it makes me very sad. There I'm getting off my soap box, that has just been aggravating me for a while. I feel better.

Lesson: Biting your tongue will only make your speech impediment worse. Standing up for yourself is hard, but necessary! You are who you are and your co-workers have to realize that.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Yay May

I'm feeling random. And excited. I don't know what it is about May 1st that always makes me feel like flowers and sunshine.