Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Bug Poop

A bug pooped on me today. I'm pretty sure it was a bug. I was sitting on the curb by a tree waiting for the school bus (to drop my children off, of course). I felt something fall on my hair. I reached up and wiped this yellowish spot off. It had a small chunk in the middle. I resisted to smell it.

It looked like it could possibly be bird poop... only there were NO birds around, nor was I under the tree. It was such a very small amount. Minute, really. I wiped my hand in the grass and contemplated for 25 minutes (the bus was horribly late) what could have pooped so small. It had to of been a bug of some sort. I'm sure it was a bigger sort of bug.

So I've heard it's good luck if a bird poops on you, is it good luck if a bug does?

Monday, August 24, 2009


And don't hang up. Yeah don't be fooled by the pretty guy lip sinking on television. It's a ploy to make you let your guard down. When you are warned by those around you to do go another path sometimes you should just stick to their guns instead of your stubborn ones and abide by their thoughts.

Yeah the best advice is typically the advice not taken. Or is the best advice the advice given but not realized it's been followed? Why is it we never take our own advice, but we so freely dish it?

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Going Full Circle

So I'm treading the water constantly moving only to look at the shore and see that I've not really gone that far of a distance. Why is it when you try to move you don't, but if you're adrift at sea the land falls further and further from your site when you don't want it to? You desperately paddle and swim back, but it's a futile attempt.

I'm at full speed, but maybe I'm not trying hard enough. I don't even know what I want sometimes.

I'm finding I do have fears and I can't confront them because I don't know how. I have an excuse for them. They tumble from my tongue before I even know what I'm thinking. I had to take a good hard long look in the mirror and confess to myself that I'm weak. I told myself I was, but I had to admit it out loud for the part of me that was apparently in denial.

I thought I could do something and I failed. I don't even know if I really gave it my best shot. I guess every day in life people learn things about themselves and I have learned some more about me. I find that exciting, yet horridly inconvenient. When I thought I knew me best, why couldn't I have known this particular thing about me before?

I know I'm not the only confused and frustrated person out there. Everyone is at one point. Life as I discover is a lot of different things. Right now it's laughing at me, I think. I hope it's a funny joke and one day I can laugh too. Laughing is fun to do!

Lesson: if you want to try something, be sure you really want to try it. If the consequences are long term, be prepared to accept them. This is where you can say "I told you so" but I know you haven't yet, so I said it for you- on the Internet.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

top 5 things to try

#1 Cookie dough pop tarts. Seriously this is coming from a cinnamon and brown sugar only girl. They are yummy.

#2 Dress as a zombie and shuffle to someone and tell them you want to eat their brains. Of course it's a lot more fun if there are 200 other people that are also zombies.

#3 Ladies- wear a corset for fun or at least try one on. You'll love how you look and really understand the "I can't breathe" aspect. Well that part isn't fun, but getting your photo taken is!

#4 Go on a carriage ride in the city... yeah I'm waiting for that, but it looks like sooo much fun!

#5 Eat at some place you can't go anywhere else to eat.

Yeah... I was sitting here trying to think of a good blog and I have a million things going through my head, but nothing really blog worthy. I've had a lot of interviews recently so that is good. I really am crossing my fingers for a good job/career- soon. I don't mind the current position I'm in now, but I'm thinking that it isn't really for me. I will continue to do it part time and see where it takes me. So in the mean time I will be pursuing other opportunities as they present themselves. So far, since I've put myself officially on the job market it hasn't gone over too well. That kind of stinks.

Well I'd love to bore you some more with my career choices, but I have a hang nail and it's bugging the crap out of me every time I hit the letter's "s, w, and x" especially x, but it isn't like I'm hitting "x" a lot. I'm getting "s" more than the other 2. I actually don't think I've used "x" at all. Hmm?

Now I seriously have to go because the wind blew my patio table over (again).

Monday, August 17, 2009


A new blog to come... as soon as I know I won't be electrocuted by lightning. :) ZZzzzaaapPP.!!

Best 4 days of Gaming

Are now over (and the storms have passed for me to blog safely) and I can resume my regular blogging.

It was a lot of fun. Who am I kidding? I'm a complete nerd and had a blast. Of course due to the economy and various other organizations (WOC) *cough* *cough* who wouldn't let their employees even have one night off to partake in the gaming fun... our normal group wasn't there. I missed you all, it just wasn't the same. (Bryce, Mars, Amanda, Steve, Char, and anyone else I may have left out).

This year we helped Gorilla Games minimally (sorry Jeff & Jason), but I did wear my Battlestations t-shirt which generated a lot of comments (more than normal) so I think that was fair enough advertising.

Last year I had a migraine the entire 4 days and was put out most of the time- this year I did too. But it wasn't as severe and I self medicated. yay me.

We had some good Werewolf, the Zombie walk, we did the Cheese Weasle, got Catan ribbons (I know Bryce really wanted them), and demo'd tons of new and awesome games. Of course I dressed up, as well as Kirby. You can check us out from the Metromix of Indianapolis http://indianapolis.metromix.com/events/photogallery/gen-con-2/1398710/content We are pic 19!! How cool is that?! I haven't found any zombie u-tubes for 2009 that has me or Kirby in it. If I do find one I'll definitely get it on here to share.

I don't think I have one favorite part because there is always sooo much going on and so much to do. Of course we didn't get to participate in everything we said we wanted to do, like the paint and take, but there is always next year. Which is probably a better idea anyway because my glasses finally broke and I'm totally Harry Pottering it. (Okay, so currently they are super glued together). Close enough.

I definitely want to take the kids along I know they would love it. I don't know if they can handle 4 days, (especially if we volunteer to run games, the booth, etc), but I would definitely like to have them there for one day to experience it.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


I had a job offer... yay! The catch? Yes, there's always a catch. It's a job "placement" place that you pay $185 and they place you in a full time permanent job. They don't actually even place you, you get to have access to places that are hiring full time.

Do people seriously PAY when they don't have any money to get a paying job? I told the lady how about I sign a contract and they place me first in a paying job and then I can pay them... once I already had a job. Apparently people who need jobs (i.e. people that need money) aren't good for their money.

I would think that if a company needed someone to fill a position they would get someone and not go through some company.

I did some research on this company and apparently they are a scam. So they can take their $185 from the next victim and shove it.

Lesson: At least I know commission jobs are dirty. I don't need hourly jobs to be dirty, too.


When I look at the big picture everything seems so simple, but when I'm in the midst of it nothing seems easy at all. Why is that?

So I went to this thingie yesterday that was absolutely not worth my time at all. I'm starting to wonder if anything is worth my time... and what is my time worth? Because obviously my time isn't worth anything if I continuously waste it on things that don't matter and things that aren't getting me anywhere.

So I get home and the husband is sick in bed with a wicked cold. Of course the general lady population knows how the general men population is when they are sick. *cough* big babies *cough* It isn't so much that Kirby is a baby, but more on the lines that he is cranky. I want to help him and I never manage to do it in a sufficient manner and he does these gestures where he acts all frustrated like he's going to get up and do it himself (like get his medicine) when all I need to know is where it is because I never take the ibuprofen (and he does)... but instead I take an extra 15 minutes looking for it and I'm exhausted from my retarded trip and 3 hour drive as it is.

I'll be honest- I have no patience. I don't think I ever have. Sometimes it's good, but not really good for my bedside manner. I want to help him, but you have to help me help you. I'm not a mind reader. If you want a cool rag and say no the first time I offer it and then change your mind- say so. You say you're going to take care of the tooth fairy and you don't, then expect me to do it at midnight- well why didn't you just ask me to do it in the first place??

Of course I was kind of mad about that because I think he got the cold from the tooth fairy because she "forgot" Josh's tooth the first night and suddenly he's sick. Hmm?? I knew that wasn't regular dust on the collar of his 80/20 shirt.

So apparently he's well enough to go to work and leave me with the hooligans and a sore throat. I'm just so mad about so many little things going on with these kids that I just don't know where to start. I know I haven't been raising them to do the things they're doing (or not doing). So why all of a sudden are they being they way they are (or not)?

And with the oldest that is suddenly not a kid (in his eyes) and doesn't think he has to follow the house rules- well I don't really know where my place of authority is with him... Of course I'm willing to make exceptions to the house rules for any of the children if they can demonstrate the proper responsibility and own up to things like... I don't know for example, spilling things in the living room ottoman when they know they shouldn't have had them. Perhaps, then maybe I can make exceptions as long as we can continue to show we are responsible.

I don't think he should be treated with the same caliber as the younger kids (yet he is only 2 years different from MY oldest) So he's not THAT little... Hmm. I don't want to press the issue because I don't want to nag. Where is the balance? He's a guest and we love him like our own so we want him to continue to come over and stay with us, I just wish I knew how to reach out and do what's right for him. He's a good kid, but I worry about other things, too.

Well I think I've complained enough for today.

Lesson: If the catnip is empty, maybe you should get a cat to find some more.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Baby, come on baby

Yeah more babies on the mind... Is that all I ever think about? Well no, I think about other stuff, cool stuff- like UFC and Forrest's embarrassing retreat from Silva. BUT even while there at my friends and enjoying some wine while watching the fights there were *adorable* babies there.

Also, this week my friend had a baby and I got to visit them in the hospital and ohmigosh he is the cutest ever! He hardly cried and I held him for ever and ever. She's got a good little boy.

So I'm on my period (I know too much info there) but maybe it was the shirt, the way I was sitting, or the fact I could be slightly bloated. My daughter says, "mom you look pregnant!"

Wow, I am so the farthest from being 'large' by any means. So later I'm walking her and her friend down the street and she pats my belly and says "see?" to her friend.

I realize Gwyn has been asking me for a little sister, but she's pushing it.

Friday, August 7, 2009


80/20's sign said something about an echo isn't orginal. I was thinking of that. Just because every day isn't necessarily original doesn't mean it's not an echo with a different tune. All my days have been way different with the same feelings.

*sigh* I wish my echo would bounce off a different mountain.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy; I like most of my mountains, but you know if just one is crumbling it throws everything else out of balance.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Think Positive

In all honesty does it matter if you really think positive? For example: I've been waiting ALL day for a call back for a job that I really want. Well I think I want it because I need it because lets face it, I kind of suck at what I'm doing currently. I'm newer in sales (when it's not over the phone) and apparently I'm a terrible sales lady!

Don't get me wrong- I think my company has some really good stuff to sell, I want some they're that good. I believe in the product! It's inexpensive, they pay you a crap ton if you use it.... but there are so so so so so so so many associates out there selling it you really can't make it in this business unless you know someone that can give you some awesome referrals or unless you know someone that owns a business. Period. It's all about taking time and building relationships with business owners (we can also sell directly, but it saves you money if you by through your work and it saves the business owner money).

I don't have time, nor do I have patience. One of our selling points is can you survive without a check for 2-3 weeks? Well most people live check to check so the answer is no. My answer is "no" too and I've been there and done that. It sucks. So our programs are definately a good thing if you get sick or injured and can't work!

So I've decided to continue do this part time- at least until something takes off for me. Because (as per our selling point, I need money). I'll be a dirtbag insurance lady on the side if anyone wants something or has questions. I AM licensed! I'll help them out and maybe if I get lucky I'll make a couple bucks on the side.

Oh they don't tell you in the interview, but they are similar to a pyramid company. I get paid so does my mentor/trainor, his boss, and our state trainers, etc. I don't know what the breakdown is exactly, but it's a sweet deal if you can make it to the top. Which I won't because right now I'm being a Negative Nancy.

Which brings me to the point I'm ranting about. So I interviewed at this marketing firm and since a third of the city is laid off there was about 6 other people interviewing. I was told I would hear from them today or I wouldn't hear from them at all. I pondered if I should be excited and positive I would get a 2nd job or if I should just not care and be negative. I mean does it really matter when the employeer has already made up his mind yesterday? What does my attitude mean today for decisions made yesterday? Hmm??

It isn't like the employer knows that I'm being a whiney butt about it and if they weren't going to hire me what do they care if I'm being negative anyway?

Monday, August 3, 2009

10 years

I surprisingly had a lot of fun at my 10 year high school reunion!

I keep thinking Grosse Pointe Blank and how hot John Cusack is... Mmm.

I think Kirby actually had some fun, too for meeting 150 people he had never met before (of course I didn't remember a lot of them at first either). Well there was Dusty, Chris, and Joe and other facebookers whom he had met and hung around a couple times before, so it wasn't completely dreary for him.

It was so weird seeing how people have changed and grown. There was people with I mingled that I would have never talked to in school 10 years ago... also there were people I never did say hello to because I didn't recognise them!! Thank goodness for name tags, though, I think I hit most everyone up, but there was quite a few of us. It would have been more interesting I think if a larger majority of my class had shown up, but I guessed that there were probably 226 in my graduating class...

I think part of it was probably the price. It was $25 a person. I think even planning my own wedding reception for that many people it wasn't that much a head. But I don't know all the detail of the planning and efforts so I can't say why it was so expensive. Another thing I think would have been a nice touch would have been some kind of memorial for those classmates that are no longer with us. If there was one I never did see it, but I think that would have been nice.

All in all, I had a really good time and it was a lot of fun seeing old school mates. You don't realize how much of school you really don't remember until you are face to face with classmates trying to remember if you had a class together. There were people that actually didn't remember me having Gavin! I thought who could forget a pregnant girl? Apparently quite a few (too bad when I broke up with Mark senior year for 5 minutes and wanted a rebound boyfriend no one forgot then, lol).

I think I had asked just about as many of my upper and lower class men friends if they were going as those that were actually IN my own grade!

Oh well, it's good to know you have friends, right?