Thursday, November 19, 2009

Shy Bladder

So Gavin's writing this really cool paper for school and I'm helping him. Mostly with just the grammar... One of tricky words was "toward." I was trying to sound it out for him, but after you say toward a bunch, the word starts to sound funny. After a few more tries and we got it spelled correctly I mentioned I had a toward in the toilet for Kirby.

Kirby told me he had a dude in the pot. So (yes, we are easily amused), after laughing for twenty minutes about towards and different kinds of dudes (or duuuuudes) in the pot- we composed our selves to discuss more "grown up" topics of conversation. Okay so really none of us ever got there because we kept incorporating "dude" into our sentences.

So why is it we can immaturely laugh about natural things our bodies do, but when you go into a public bathroom you can't go? I mean seriously. Nature calls on everyone, right? If your stomach is grumbly, surely everyone else at one point has had a grumbly stomach in public and needed to ungrumble it. Either way, I hate public restrooms. I would rather be shut in privately so no one has to hear my "natural" sounds. I hate how people can see your shoes under the stall and later when you're working or whatever someone can point out "That's the lady that left a bomb in the bathroom!" snicker, snicker.

Don't even get me started on the cracks in the door... small child eyes peaking at me as I'm doing my "monthly" business... Ugh. Restrain your children- parents! Teach them about privacy or courtesy. Okay I'll stop on that one.

Sorry this isn't the best topic, but hey- it's on my mind. I bet you feel better about going to the bathroom because you know you're not the only one now that thinks like I do (you shoe peaker!). I just have the nerve to post it in a blog.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Animals are People

I have been working on manners and my children recently. My daughter told me to stop saying please after everything I said. In particular I was talking to Millie, asking her to get off the stool and telling her she was a good kitty. Gwyneth told me that cats aren't people.

Gwyneth was like "mom she does not understand what you're saying!"

I sat down at the dining room table and told her that infact the cats were people and COULD understand what I'm saying.

She protested so I had to prove it to her. I said, "Garry? Where are you? Garry, come here!" What do you know Garry came. I then said, "Come sit on my lap. Come here." And what do you know he jumped up on my lap!

How delightful! So I told him what a good sweet perfect cat he is (except for the puking parts). Gwyn said that he didn't understand what I was saying to him. I had to cover up his poor cat ears so he wouldn't get his feelings hurt.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Cramp. I have a cramp in my belly and it is really bothersome. I was thinking I would like to go to the Dr, but I can't due to my new place of employment. Oh I can say I enjoy this problem (complaining about work) because I have a job to complain about.

So anyway I had an appointment scheduled for over 2 months for a specialist I see (for my migraines). Well I was stuck on the phone at work and ended up being so grossly late for my appointment I was forced to reschedule. They managed to get me in at a certain time, but it wasn't beneficial to my new company. I was forced to reschedule once again (or else risk my job and we won't have that, now will we?). I guess the reason I was so mad about it is because there are at least 2 other people that had other things going on that wasn't beneficial to the company. Why were they able to get a "free pass" and I was not? Yay! Yay for working and yay for being able to talk about it!

I really think this company is going to be really good for me. I'm still training so I am learning tons. I understand things I never thought about before, I guess that can happen when you don't know what you're learning. It's pretty exciting.

I also realize this blog wasn't the most exciting to read... I'll try to think of something funny to tell you.

Well I'm not sure how funny this is, but Kirby is onery. I said I had a chocolate bar in the pantry. It's name is Hershey. We have "our" shelf we put things in that we don't necessarily share with the kids. So I was putting my juice boxes up there for my lunch when they wouldn't jam in there. I finaly got on my tippy toes and reached up and found Hershey. She was so so beatuiful. I made a promise to her as soon as I had a craving I would devour her.

Kirby thinks Hershey was his friend, but I set him straight. He got revenge by hiding her from me. But the thing is- you can't keep a girl from her chocolate.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Vets Day

Happy Veteran's day and thank you to those that served to keep me safe. Thank you for those that gave your lives for our country. Thank you to the families who have and have had loved ones serving. It is not an easy job and I want you to know that I appreciate you and everything that has been done for this wonderful country. God Bless.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


I was just thinking today about people. The rude, selfish, screaming ones. How can people purposely do and say mean and rude things? How is it people can treat other's so horribly and not even think twice? What do they get from it?

When the day is ending and they are nearing their sleep, are they restless? Do they feel good about the accomplishments and everything they have done throughout the day? Do they even know they are so horrible and that they are teaching their children to behave in the same way?

I would think as a mother (I am one so therefore I can relate) you would want your children to learn manners: please, thank you, may I- and to speak without a sharpness in your everyday business. To notate your attitude and how you're reacting towards others.

I lost my trust in the people 3 years ago, but I still want to think that people in general are good hearted. Are they?

Sunday, November 8, 2009


I've talked about my cat drool on several occasions, only this is worth the read (well it made me laugh so therefore it must make someone else laugh). This is about MY drool. So every few weeks I have to get the vacuum brush thingie and scrub the drool spots off the couch from Garry (the cat). It's quite frustrating because I try to cover up the parts where he lays and he must know because he always lays where I do not cover up.

So the other day I was sleeping on the couch. I told Kirby I have narcolepsy because I get so tired and I can't stay awake for the life of me. I was in the middle of a sudoku puzzle and zonked out. I don't know how sudoku could possibly make anyone zonk out, but it did.

Next thing I know, I'm stirring in my sleep and I realized I'm drooling. It was one of those situations where you're half asleep and barely awake. So I was too tired to do anything about it and it felt like there was a bucket that leaked out. I merely wiped my mouth off with (I think) my sweater sleeve.

-I don't know how many times I've nagged my kids NOT to do that very thing because your clothes aren't your personal napkins!

ANYWAY I shortly was in a deep slumber once again, but I must have been cautious of the position of my mouth (open or closed). I woke up a few more times just to make sure my mouth was shut. So I'm a weird sleeper...

When I finally woke up and came to the realization of what I had done. I checked the arm of the couch to verify I did not leave a giant drool spot. I could just imagine the big patchy spots like what the cat leaves.

On second thought, I think it was the monster under the couch putting my head in his mouth and leaving his drool. I would never drool.

Lesson: If you take a nap- make sure you're not sleeping around a bunch of people.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The best day of the year... if you're on your period.

Candy, candy, candy. Why oh why do I have to have a sweet tooth? No, the real question is why oh why does my PMS have to occur right now? Mmm chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. Don't give me any of that chewy Mike and Ike's crap or those Dots. Give me the good stuff! I have a giant bowl of chocolate assorted items and some other various goodies. I have to eat it fast so I can get rid of it (except for the Mike and Ike's and Dots). blech. I can't keep picking at that bowl every day. My heart will break when it's empty.

Okay so now that I admit I have a chocolate problem we can move on. I didn't say I was going to give it up. I've given up cookies until the Halloween stuff is gone. Okay- not the Halloween cookies Kirby's dad left here. Are you crazy?

I got the hiccups the other day. I had an old lady call in and I was (immaturely) making fun of the way she talks. It was the sweet shaky kind of old lady voice, very easy to imitate. It gave me a chuckle. Well God must have had a chuckle with me, because shortly after I got the hiccups. Big ones.

The next three calls I had I hiccuped right in the customer's ears. I tried to hold it in. The first lady laughed at me every time I did it. I must have made her day more cheerful. The thing is when I get hiccups- besides that they do not go away- I tend to be loud and/or deep. Sometimes I remind myself of a frog or something and then I laugh at it.

Lesson: Wait until the lady is DONE with her cycle before removing the chocolate in the vincinity. That is more like advice. Incase my huband reads this and decides to take it all to work.