Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Wedding Bellz

So... if you have a family member, like say an uncle that recently got married, and he invites most of the family and you're on the side that did NOT get an invitation what would you do? I'm not estranged to this family member. I mean we're not the closest, but I thought the last couple years we have been building a good relationship. We don't have any unusual animosity that would be cause for concern in the family (that I know of).

Okay I shouldn't have been surprised not to get invited because when I originally asked about the dates and if we would need to make arrangements to get time off of work or whatever my question was pretty much avoided.

He told me it was going to be very small. It wasn't until I started hearing from certain family members they got invitations and did I get mine? Um no. So I waited a couple of weeks before asking other members. I'm not the only family member to be left out. There was one sister invited, but not the other 2. 1 didn't really care. She said "it's his wedding and he can have it whatever way he wants on his day." Good point. So I have been trying really hard to keep that perspective. Obviously I'm failing because my feelings are hurt anyway. The other sister also had hurt feelings.

So to make things worse (I have a knack for that) I confided in one of my aunts and she must have said something to him because he emailed me an invitation, BUT in an attempt to keep up with what I perceive as my uncle's wishes I declined. I don't want to invite myself to something I'm not invited to. That is rude and obviously I wasn't wanted to begin with. He told me he thought I had my children and couldn't make the trip and that is why my invitation was an over site. As for the other cousin who had hurt feelings- he didn't know her address. We are all on facebook together so I know there could easily have been some communications to avoid these hurt feelings.

I'm trying to keep my oldest cousin's advice, but I planned a wedding once. I know how hectic that can be. Maybe it's because of my previous planning experience that I don't exactly buy these excuses. It's the principle. I don't think you should invite one sister and not the other. Or certain family members in the same vicinity and not all.

I've been told the wedding was very small and no big deal, but why invite part of the family and not all of the family? There is a reason I'm not as close to some family members as the cousin that DID get invited. Because I'm never there. I can't even have an opportunity to remedy the situation. I WANT to be closer to my family. After all, blood is thicker than water, right? I would like to see my other family (his son and fiance- I never even met her and they've been together for YEARS). I talk to my uncle A LOT on facebook so I'm no stranger and I'm having trouble getting past my hurt feelings.

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