Sunday, May 7, 2017

Singing thoughts

I have a thousand thoughts coursing through me.  Each is vying for individual attention, but I lack the strength to divide myself appropriately.

But right now I'm thinking of you...

Sitting next to you in church used to be my favorite thing in the world.  I would stand closer to you while we sang hymns because I wanted to hear every word.  Your voice made me think of delicate roses blooming so tenderly...  Your voice so velvety, like a petal, twirling and wrapped around notes in a pitch that touched me.

You told me this weekend you didn't want to sing anymore because you're not that good.  Oh- how I wish I would have expressed to you years ago how lovely your singing really was.  How this, among many things, impacted me.  You touched my soul and made the hymns come alive in my spirit. 

It dawned on me that it's been years since I sat next to you in church.  I miss that.  I'll never get to do that again.  I miss hundreds of other things that have come to pass, too. 

That is one of the reasons I requested the 4 plaques of hymns from your house. Your singing and your music helped sculpt me into the person I am today.  They are kind of "old lady-ish" so I'm not sure where to put them, but wherever I finally decide I will be proud to have them.  

I miss so many things and it aches me to visit you knowing I'll never have those things again.  You are still you, but Alzheimer's has stolen many parts of you that were.

What a nasty, nasty disease. 

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