another blog about poop. Does it ever end?

Ok.  Every time I see that stupid Women's Rights blog it annoys me.  So I need a new one.  I told my husband I didn't know what to blog about.  It isn't like I'm not busy with a zillion interesting stories.  I have a toddler (baby Rowan is now almost 21 months).  ...Aaannd a teenager.  With a couple in between.  Oh the stories I haven't shared.... 

My husband said I should blog about how much I love him, but I've already done that.  Plus it's kind of hard when he and his friend are talking about 2 minutes.  If you want to know that inside joke I guess you'll have to message me because it's not appropriate for here. 

Anyway I do have a good story for you.  So the other day my cousin and I are carpooling to karate with a couple of the kids when someone makes a nasty smell.  Whenever we're in the van and the kids do something rude my husband always yells at them for pooping their pants.  I must have picked up that habit because I yelled at the kids for pooping in the car in such a small space with so many of us. 

Sooo...  One of them tells me that the other really did poop because supposedly they fished around in the back of their pants and pulled out a little chunk. 

Needless I had to send a message to my cousin that went something like this:  "Hey- let me know if you find a tiny terd in ur car..... seriously.  don't touch any little brown things w/ ur fingers.  If you do let us know so we can punish if necessary... the child in question may or may not be joking." 

Well true or not the messages we sent back and forth had both Kirby and I in stitches.  I wonder if my cousin will still allow us to carpool.  Would you? 

women's rights

Okay so I totally know I haven't kept up in this. I guess since I know my most important fan is gone (my dad) I kinda lost the blogging spirit. Of course there have been many blogworthy topics in the last several months.... and I'm sure I owe you an updated post on wassap with me... But I guess something finally bugged me enough for me to post.....

Now I know I'm doing a "no no" BUTTTT I copied and pasted a portion of a conversation from facebook because I seriously what to know if I'm wrong of if this guy I was talking to is a douche. I think the latter... but of course I have been wrong. Oh, and NO I won't tell you any personal information or who posted it. So don't ask.

For the privacy of the poster- who is my friend (for now until I get deleted and blocked for this) I will only keep to my specific conversation. Basically the conversation is about women’s rights and how he is sick of the government (and essentially us tax payers) giving assistant to those lazy women who keep having babies and we need better screening of welfare cases. Basically this guy (we’ll call him MIHS- for Mr. Ignorant High Schooler) thinks because he tells a woman he doesn’t want a child he can have as much sex as he wants and it’s okay because he did his part in being responsible by telling her he doesn’t want kids so if she gets pregnant then it’s all on her. My first post was in response to the initial thread- not his retarded comments.

Here goes:

Spaghetti Fields: This message isn't about women's rights. It's about anti-woman. You do know they can't get pregnant on their own, right? I don't condone paying welfare for women with 500 kids, but it isn't like they got that way all by themselves. If society should force pills and abortions on them then society should also do the ole snip-snip or castrations on the fathers. Just because the woman is the one that carries the child and is more likely to end up taking care of the child doesn't absolve men's participation in this issue. I think you'd be surprised how many people you call "friend" or a "good person" or who have anonymously helped another in need that came from welfare. Imagine your life without those people.

MIHS: Every time I had sex I ttold the girl before, "I don't want the kid, if you get pregnant get rid of it or its your problem". Though it takes 2 to create it the woman usually wants to keep it. Thus she should be financially supporting it on her own... just saying...

Spaghetti Fields: MIHS- I know you're very young so here's the real world: if you have sex and she gets pregnant you are responsible. The state doesn't care about your "feelings" on the issue. You may never be a "daddy" to that child, but it's still biologically yours and irrefutable in court. If you don't want kids then don't have sex. If you don't want your wages garnished, your tax refunds taken, or look at jail time for non-payment- then don't have sex. I think a lot of welfare cases could be avoided if it weren't for "deadbeat" dads that want to "have all the fun" but not deal with the consequences. ...and FYI the state doesn't care if you’re in high school and you have your whole bright future ahead of you.

MIHS: I know everything you said. I experienced it. I looove sex so that is not an option. I'd rather hire a hitman and take them out. ;) if it is made clear that you just want sex and no kids, then the person shouldn't be held accountable. Regardless of what the real world or state thinks. Why should your life get screwed up because a girl kept a kid that you don't even want? Something is flawed there. And I like how you try to blame "dead beat dads". The father did not force the woman to keep the child for one. For two, [poster] was referring to the women who lay on their back, have kids and don't try to work, just for welfare money. (Enter Sarcasm from me: Yeah because that is what every woman wants- a screaming baby on the hip from anyone they come across just so they can get free money.)

Spaghetti Fields (by this point I know this kid is set in his self-centered ways so this is my final rebuttal against his chosen ignorance… and you can see by all my comments I inserted here that I really wanted to go off on him, but I know it wouldn’t get me anywhere): I realize speaking with you is an entirely moot point and you will never take responsibility of your actions. I just hope that because of your ignorance any children bring into this world by you aren't stuck in the same horrible cycle of welfare that you so despise. I'm sure there are women that have children just for the sake of having children AND I know they didn't do it by themselves. If you're so anti-woman that you don't think men also manipulate the government then you are grossly mistaken because it goes both ways. As far as welfare screenings: I'm pro drug testing, half-way housing, and job placement. Deny those that are on drugs and alcohol (yes alcohol, too), and those that are approved- provide job placement and possible help with child-care so they CAN work and learn to be a productive and independent member of society.

MIHS: I was responsible by making my intentions clear. A woman being a single mother is considered responsible? (Um yeah- One irresponsible single mother doesn’t mean we all are. I was a single mom for a short period of time. I went to school full time, worked full time, and managed to check over homework and make dinner. How many would say I was being irresponsible??) That's the most irresponsible thing you could choose for your child. (You’re an idiot if you think that every single mother chooses that kind of life.) I've been with my woman for a very long time, we see eye to eye, and we agree to not have any children. (You’re in high school- what is a long time to you? 6 months?) Therefore I won't have children running around out there without a dad. If you honestly think that the genders of people manipulating the system is of an equal ratio (no it’s not equal, but these posts only focus on how irresponsible, manipulative, and horrible women are and no consequences for the men that helped them get into the role they’re in.) , then you are the ignorant one hun. (euww, don’t call me that) I understand where you're coming from (really?) and you made a couple valid points, but I guarantee most of the women on welfare are on it thanks to their own stupidity. (because the guy told her he didn’t want kids when he had sex, right?) That's what frustrates hard workers like me...

So anyway this is my drama post for spring of 2012. Hope you enjoyed and feel free to leave a comment. Yes I do approve them individually, but feel free to tell me how wrong I am if you think so.... but I'm pretty sure I'm not.

Fantastic newssss!!!

Woot. I got a job offer. And it's not window lickin! I'm so excited! I could just spit sparkles.

Of course it does come with a price. My time. And my babies time. Namely Ro Ro's time away from me (the other kids are in school all day so they won't miss me). I'm kind of torn between this. It makes me sad, but it was bound to happen soon (although I've been looking for freaking ever)- as that comes when you're job hunting.

Anyway I know a full time job will be worth it in the long run. It will help all the kids and the family. I will feel productive again, have adult conversations, and work hard!

I never had a problem with the older kids and going to work. Maybe it's because Rowan is my last baby. I want to hang onto his babyhood for as long as I can. I guess one of us has to grow up eventually.... I suppose that is good, right? Being responsible and all that.

Anyway I'm very sadly happy. ...and that is a good thing. :)

UGH Scarrrry!

Oh mi gosh. A tick or something just jumped on me. I think I almost passed out. No way- I couldn't faint knowing something might be sucking my blood. So I wadded it in a tissue; I was thoughtful enough to grab a new one. I know from experience those things don't just die like a spider or any normal bug. I swear I smooshed that thing like there's no tomorrow.

Here's the catch 22- I want to keep it for bugmaster Kirby to identify (in case it isn't a tick or some bloodsucker and I can rest easy).... so I opened the tissue to see if it was thoroughly dead- that sucker jumped out!!! So I'm wiping my shirt off and then checking my hands to make sure it's not touching my skin. Then I'm on my hands and knees searching the carpet trying to be a big girl cuz you know I will freak out if I can't find it and secure it.

I can't have it LIVING where there is a chance it might get my baby- or worse- ME. I know my neighbor is an advocate for throwing boxes on bugs, but I want assurance it won't escape. Normally I put a cup over it and a book or few on the cup.... but with the baby getting into stuff NO WAY.

So thankfully I recaptured the nasty little thing and put it in a jar. I put alcohol on it and it drowned. It occurred to me that is an awful way to die. Plus I wasn't sure if it would be identifiable. So I fished it out with a q-tip... When I looked at it a minute ago it was CRAWLING! I tell you- those things do not die!! That lid is screwed on tight, but now I'm all itchy all over.

Adult Truths

Okay... I stole this from someone on face book who stole it from someone else. It made me chuckle and just about every line is friggin true! :)

23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
1 Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning square roots really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with a shot of Jagermeister than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important !
:))