Tuesday, September 8, 2009

End with a joke

It's a beatutiful moose. I've waned to make a blog the last few days, but I'm just not sure of what. I don't have any cutsie stories to share, or any silly cat things going on. Well I *could* come up with some cat stuff, but I would seriously have to consider making an all cat blog.

I'm just kind of blah. I'm nervous about tomorrow and how that is going to turn out. ...And NO, I'm not saying what's going on exactly so don't ask. It's just some personal thingie that I'm doing and lets just say no matter what the outcome is there are going to be hurt feelings. Of course it is never my intention to go and hurt people's feelings, but things have been set in motion and need to be followed through. Of course I don't think anyone on the other end gives a rats behind of my feelings so I don't know why I'm even bothering to care... I just do deep down.

I guess that is just my personality. Even in my darkest moments when I have felt the deepest pain from the hands and actions of other people I still have an urge to reach out to the one harming me because I see a glimmer in their eye. It's like I can tell the people that hurt others don't mean to or want to deep down.

At any rate- tomorrow isn't the only thing on my mind. I have a weight that just keeps getting heavier and heavier. It makes blogging hard. For a moment this was turning into a drama circus and I had to take a step back and look and I was like 'wow my blog is really pretty terrible' It was like junior high girls locker room gossip fest. And on that same note I don't want an emo blog because I'm going through a semi-whats going on with my life crisis. I've read some pretty awesome blogs and I think- why can't my blog be like that?

Well because those people aren't me. That's why. I actually went on here today to delete those drama blogs from a couple months ago. Because they are ugly. Not just the people that commented, but I was being pretty ugly. The reason I kept them in the first place, along with all my other past blogs from yahoo and myspace- is because that is who I was. Sometimes I am an ugly person. Everyone is at one time. I can't fool myself if I want to think that I'm some bubbly person and only keep the happy shiny blogs. Because even if I were to delete them I still know who I am. Why lie to anyone else about me?

I'm not an ugly person all the time (and I like to think the general public and hopefully the people that made comments on them aren't either). I know I'm not perfect, and I know I have faults. But the thing is I need to learn from my mistakes. That was a mistake. I know what I need to do next time someone wants to be nasty to me (or at least I hope I do). Regardless if anyone else has learned their lesson I hope I have.

Um, just to clarify, that is not an invitation to pick on me to test my skills.

I know I'm rambling and my blog isn't as eloquently written as the Cheek of God, or quirky as Life, Unassuming & Complicated, and I'm certainly not as devoted (although I wish I were, that is so inspiring) as findingmywingsinlife, but hey- I'm just me and no one can ask for more. I guess all these people are just being themselves, too. FYI their blogs are all on the side (under Saucy Blogs) if you ever want to check them out. They all have their style and I have mine.

Anyway nothing funny here for today. Sorry. I can tell you a joke.

This guy walks into a bar and it hurts really bad.

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