From one thing to another. Do you realize that everything you do is influenced by one decision or another that was previously made? Of course I'm not writing with any intentions to be that deep today.
I was thinking of the rights and wrongs of using another person's influence to get your personal gains. My philosophy is that you can't really move up unless you know someone or something. Knowledge is power. These days growing from the ground up is nearly unheard of.
I would like to start from the ground and go up; and I've tried. It just doesn't work the way I want it to. Let me rephrase that. It doesn't work the way I feel it should. I've found some of my faith that I lost so I'm working on putting my trust back in higher places that I took away. Anyway what I'm trying to get at is should I feel guilty for getting what I need? I said a prayer and have done everything I think I was supposed to do.
On that side note maybe I haven't done everything I was supposed to do? I guess only the results that I see will show that.
Either way I wish my mind would clear and I could be as jovial as I was just a few months ago. I think sometimes my happiness has drained away. It's still there, just not where I wished it was. My husband just laughed really hard at something and I want to laugh really hard. I'd like to make some blogs that are cutsie and preferably not about my cats. I always have cat stories, but I should probably wait until I'm 50 to share them too much.
Lesson: Take what you have and remember to say thank you to those that help influence you (positively).