So I was helping Gavin with his homework and I made the comment that he'll probably be a rocket scientist when he grows up (he is kind of a nerdy boy) and he's like "I'm not doing that." So I ask, "well what are you going to do then?" He gets that deer in headlight look... The one where he's froze in his seat and on the verge of tears. I really want him to open up to me with out freaking out every time I try to have casual conversation that isn't about wrestling or video games. So I tell him, "you know- you are allowed to change your mind later; even I can still change my mind. It's never set in stone- it's what you want to do at the time."
I can tell he's thinking really hard and the question is stressing him out dreadfully. I break the tension by telling when I was little I really wanted to be a unicorn (my mom even had me thinking I was growing the "corn" on my head because I would bump it on the ceiling when I climed into the top bunk) when I grew up. I had to change plans as I got older, because you don't really see unicorns around these days. He laughed at that and told me he wanted to be in the army.
That is a good start- hey, it's not wresting! Oh, he nixed the video game designer idea because too many of his friends are into that (kudos for going against the flow). I asked what he would do in the army and he said drive a tank and operate the machine gun. So he wants to blow stuff up. Great!
Well at least I got something out of him. I still have some years to talk him into the nerdy scientist. I think there is more more money in that and perhaps he can find a cure to migraines! Of course I'll be over mine by then, but if I can save one more person from what I suffer from now... Okay okay I'll get off my soap box... I have a headache right now though. All right I'm shutting up. Those that know me are SICK of hearing how my head always hurts.
Anyway since his meltdown I have been really trying to reach out and find that bond we once shared. I don't know, maybe it's the pre-teen thing going on, but I'm not ready to let go!
Lesson: If it isn't working one way, find another way to reach your goals.