Another Day at the Office

Today was not a good day for work. It started off with a meeting we had from the owner in 3 different groups. I was late coming into mine. When I came in I explained I was on the phone. The owner asked if I liked talking on the phone. I said "sometimes" It was not in a rude, or nasty way, I was just politely answering his question while finding a seat. I did not mean any harm by it. Of course our jobs keep us on the phones all day- so the majority of us are on the phones constantly. It's kind of a goofy question to ask a CSR. He made a joke about it something to the effect of "Sometimes I like being on the phones too" everyone laughed and he cracked another one and we started the meeting.

Well *someone* from that meeting told my supervisor, who inturn, sent me this e-mail:
"Next time **owner** asks you a question such as if you like being on the phone…say yes…even if it’s not the case all the time. It is, after all, what you get paid to do.
You don’t need the “target” on your back. "

*I took out his name for obvious reasons

So I reply:
"It was a reaction. I didn’t even realize what he asked till everyone was laughing at me."

Then I started thinking, that is kind of rude- what does my sup mean I have a target on my back? Does that mean someone is keeping a close eye on me? So I respond again:

"You know, he made jokes about it- and I don’t have a bad attitude. I really do like my job. I have my days- but everyone does. So is there someone that has a problem with me or should I be worried because I said “sometimes” instead of “always” I didn’t mean any harm by it. Is my job threatened?

I’m assuming that he himself said something to you about it because there is a problem that needs to be corrected on my end. Tell me what I need to do to make it right."

And sup replies back to me:
"Man I feel bad for telling you because now you are worried…but don’t. It’s not worth it. At least you were honest! He can’t expect people to LOVE being on the phone! It just sucks because now that is what he’ll remember of you. Even though it’s not what you meant.
He makes me so nervous that sometimes dumb things come out of my mouth. Your job is not in jeopardy and if he knew ANYTHING about you, he would know that is not what you meant. However he doesn’t take the time to get to know people so therefore doesn’t know peoples personalities and how they may react to certain situations or comments. Anyway I’m rambling…it’s ok. "

So I'm thinking- Why in the world did the sup even have to send me an e-mail anyway? Because I said I liked being on the phone SOMETIMES instead of ALWAYS? How completely ridiculous is that? Is the guy that signs my checks really that shallow? No, I don't think he is. I think my sup is. SO sup e-mails our marketing guy (I'm not sure what his title is) but he's another big boss man that gets new customers and sometimes assigns them to CSR's.

Sup FWD my e-mails to him and said this:
"Aryan is really feeling guilty – or worried – about the comment she made in the meeting to **owner**.
I shouldn’t have said anything but I wanted her to be prepared if anything was said to her."

I wonder WHO exactly is going to say anything to me that I need to be prepared for? I only said one freaking word in the meeting.

Here was his reply:
"No problem.

It was taken in good fun. I’ll reinforce that to her as well. Tell her not to worry.

Thanks,

****"

I don't know how sup found out about my lethal comment unless maybe he (the guy sup e-mailed) said something?? But who knows. I don't know why it was even an issue in the first place.

I'm ready to leave this company... I tell myself to wait until I have my vacation before I do something stupid.

I haven't had any interviews since this summer for a couple reasons. #1 I don't know what to do about day care. Most places are 8-5 and I can't afford another $200 for morning care for my rugrats. They are more like rugpuppies, becuase they aren't exactly little... #2 the side effects to my medicine is really weird and kind of freaky- makes me kind of spacey, scatterbrained, it effects my memory, word recall, ect. So I'm really apprehensive about how that would go in a new job... but it's not good selling yourself if you're on some wacked out drug- yanno? #3 I don't know what I could possibly do anymore I feel so out of the loop. That one is actually the least of my worries because I think I can do almost anything. I am not worried about pay, I'll take less if it means I'll be happier. Besides, if I am able to take a part time job and even eliminate the day care bill altogether- that would save me over $412 a month!

I've been doing some of the work stuff at home this week. I know I shouldn't because I don't get paid for it...

I would ask the other sup in the group but I know they're soo busy all the time. Kirby thinks I need to go to HR and discuss my issues. I just don't know. It isn't like any other job where I could complain about a co-worker, we have a meeting, hash it out and we're all better... I just don't know. I feel so bad for the other people besides me that are being picked on... I mean- can't the others sup see it? Maybe I will have a meeting with them... Rock the boat. Get it out. When I quit and they ask why! I don't know. Kirby thinks I should... like now.

I don't want to have a meeting and pour my heart out and have sup go and gossip to all sup's buddies and friends and make things that much worse for me. I have been there and done that. I'm out of highschool, but I guess some people never really leave it, do they?

Kirby doesn't understand. He's too far gone. I love him, but he's not "one of us" He's been in his snug position for so long he's forgotten what it's like to be the peeon. And that's what I am. I guess I should remember my place.